Or: does traveling mean running away? An opinion piece for those who judge themselves for taking a travel break from life and are scared of doing so because of their mental health struggles

‘We don’t travel to escape life, but for life not to escape us.’

As I am sitting on the train I am starting to think about traveling, now, post-covid where we finally can move around freely again. What is it that makes me crave so much for it? I wonder. An escape from ‘real’ life and routine? Am I running away from ‘real life’? From my perspective, most of us don’t realize that this ‘real life’ doesn’t exist outside of a fixed mindset that has been created and passed onto us by society. ‘Real life with a real job’ is merely a creation of our conditioning. In fact, real life can be whatever we want it to be if we just allow ourselves to break free. From societal expectations of how a life should look like for example. But we don’t have to be stuck in that 40+ hour job we don’t enjoy. We don’t have to make money to solve problems that we wouldn’t have and buy products that we wouldn’t need if we weren’t working so much. If we feel that our reality shall be another one, we are free to follow our dreams once we manage to move away from that conventional life plan. Yet our societal reality means working those roundabout 330 days a year for that short release during our holidays, where finally we can live the life we want to. And then go back to work and repeat it all over again. I want more than that. I want freedom. And I am not running away.

Think about it, even if you were running away – what’s the big deal? If traveling to a different place every week or every day or every month is what makes you happy, then that’s great! Go and do it! Seize the moment and do what sparks joy. Chances are that you haven’t been doing enough of this lately. For me it was the judgment of my dreams that made me insecure about my plans. The desire to swim with the crowd, to fit into “what we are supposed to do”, or what we believe we should be doing because everyone else is doing it. However, the only thing that matters is that you do what feels right for you and forget about what others do or think about it. To create our own idea of the right life. Imagine, what would you do if you wouldn’t judge your innate dreams? What if it didn’t matter what others think?

My longing for travel and freedom often triggers a feeling of uneasiness. ‘I must be running away from something, my life, myself?’, I thought. Why else would I be moving cities (or countries) so frequently and also say yes to every city trip, countryside outing and backpacking trip every chance I get? I think a lot of the people around me secretly think I am running away from something, but rarely confront me with it. They don’t have to. My own inner critic is already doing a pretty good job with that. However, I am slowly starting to understand that I am not running away. I am searching. Searching for that feeling of freedom, that feeling of living in the moment, that feeling that anything is possible that I never seemed to be able to find in my everyday routine.

After almost 1,5 years without being able to really travel due to covid I got a chance to reflect on what it really is that delights me so much about moving around and exploring the world. That craving is still there and I am starting to realize it may always stay because it’s a part of me. And that’s ok.

In a way I do believe that it is true that travel is an escape. However, it all depends on how we look at life and what we want our life to look like. It’s can be an escape from a life that doesn’t suit us. I listened to myself closely and noticed that for me travel is a way to fulfil some deeply rooted needs of mine. A need for freedom, a need for adventure, a need for novelty, curiosity and exploration, a satisfaction of my openness to new experiences.

I am talking about all these stimuli we are surrounded by when we are in a place other than our home. Different languages, food, cultures, architecture, and a different way of life. Seeing this creates this very relieving feeling of ‘anything is possible!’ for me. 

“You won’t find yourself in Bali”

a friend said to me not so long ago when I shared with her that I really felt like I needed to travel to get out of my life crisis and bad mental health. She meant to say that no matter where we are, we always bring ourselves and consequently our problems with us. I fully agree with that. However, I do believe that a long-term travel (or not so long-term travel) can certainly help us in many ways when we’re feeling low or lost. So if you’re looking for some good reasons to go travel long-term with bad mental health, here they are:

First

long-term travel builds up our much needed self-confidence. Traveling pushes us out of our comfort zone, which is hard but once we manage to deal with all the everyday problems during travels it makes us feel so proud of ourselves. Being on the road offers us many more opportunities to overcome our fears than our everyday life does. At home, it’s so easy to avoid that confrontation, loneliness, approaching new people or whatever it is that scares us most. But when we’re in a strange place, we are most of the time not left with any other choice – we do have to try speaking in that foreign language, ask for directions or ask that friendly face in the hostel where they’re from in order to create a connection. That way, we are offered way more opportunities to challenge ourselves than we’d be at home. 

Second

travel offers us a unique and different perspective on our own lives that we’re likely to be stuck in when we are feeling low. We get to know a whole different way of living life and unusual routines. We meet humans with unconventional life stories who could inspire us greatly. So while at home we’re so stuck in the bubble that we’ve created over the years (or decades), traveling pushes us out of that in a heartbeat. That way, it shows us what other types of lives are out there, what other type of life might be for us, too. In that sense, if we’re in a place in which we don’t know where life will take us next and that creates pain, long-term travel might create some valuable new ideas.

Additionally, it also allows us to reinvent ourselves. If we don’t like who we are in our familiar environment, we can create a new version of ourselves on the road. Most likely this will happen automatically anyways. I believe we all have many different nuances to our personality depending on our environment.

Third

 Why should we let our mental health limit us? I believe we are here for one main reason: to live our lives in the most enjoyable way possible and the way that most aligns with our passion and values. So what would be point of waiting to live the life you love until your mental health is better? How do you even know it’ll get better when you stay at home?

Sure, your long-term travel with bad mental health might not lead to getting back and being cured BUT your brain will most likely experience joy again. That’s possibly a long-lost feeling for you right now? Experiencing beautiful encounters is so important on the way to healing. You might feel low again in the future, but now you’ll have a bunch of happy moments to remind you that they are possible. And that they will happen again. By the way, did you know that bad habits are most easily gotten rid of through a change of environment?

When self-doubt takes over

Sometimes I think that something is off with me because I always want to travel and explore the world. But what if instead, there is something off with the system I grew up in? So here I was, in the worst place of my life (metaphorically that is), doubting everything about myself, even my passion for travel that I had always strongly identified with. Indulging in that feeling I was unable to realize that this curiosity is something to love and appreciate about myself. A passion to incorporate into my life as much as possible.

Realize and appreciate your uniqueness

Throughout the years I have spent most of my free time with other open-minded travel and adventure lovers (despite common belief we tend to be attracted to individuals similar to us). Indulging in my rumination about why I always need to travel, I noticed that I had never looked outside of my bubble much. Speaking with different types of people about what traveling means to them and how they like to explore places made me understand something.

Not everybody is willing to sleep in a 5$ hostel in India, try chicken feet (a local dish in Thailand) surf on strange peoples’ couches or let alone host them in your own home. That’s not to say that people should be willing to do these things. But I get excited about them and they are amongst the most precious memories of my life. And that’s what keeps me going despite my mental illness – I want to experience more, explore more. I want to stay open to new adventures, to stay open to life, with an open mind.

How I managed to take the step to long-term travel with bad mental health

Earlier this year I was at a moment in my life where I had to decide on going back on the road for an extended period of time. I was dealing with burnout, depression and a lot of uncertainty of what my future should look like. But when I asked myself what I would do if I only had one year left to live, then the answer was clear.

I wanted to go and explore life and explore the world. I was lucky enough to have had the time and money to travel for once. What I didn’t have this time was good mental health and that’s what held me back for a while. I was scared not to be stable enough to travel. At the same time I couldn’t let my mental illness get in the way of living the way that I wanted to live. I felt from the bottom of my heart that going out on an adventure was what would makes me happy. To live the moment, experience new things and get some inspiration for my further path.

So, can I long-term travel with bad mental health?

If you are reading this, chances are that you are looking for an answer to this question. And I was like you at the beginning of this year. When I first felt the urge to go travel again, I remember searching the internet to find an answer. I was wondering what others said about whether I could travel with depression and anxiety and obviously found many different answers and opinions. Upon some reflection (and after going on the trip) I learned that there isn’t any point in asking other people whether I can do long-term travel with bad mental health (even though it helps to know that it’s possible, right?).

I am (and you are!) the only person who can decide if this is right for me regardless of others’ opinions and experiences. My advice is therefore: listen to your own inner voice and trust that it will lead you on the right path. The one question that always helps me taking these kind of decisions is “What is the worst that can happen?” You might come to the conclusion that you are too unstable to travel once you’re there, okay. In that case you can always come back home. Ideally you would have experienced at least a couple of beautiful moments on your trip. So my personal answer is YES. I hope you’ll find yours.

Lots of love, Kim <3